Por Que?

So why is it that I went 15 years without anyone taking interest in me and now there are two guys who are actively trying to get in my pants? I mean I know that my skinny jeans have fuck me on the back pockets (they don't) but still! My pants are my pants and no one's hands are getting in them... again.... well for now because I'm pretty sure my husband's will be in them but anyway that's beside the point. There's some guy I don't even know trying to get my number and he won't take no for an answer I want to throw a pie in his face a la the gay movement of the 70's. It's just screaming pie me now! And no not the fun pie that no one who reads this has tasted (mine or anyone else's) but an actual pie. My best friend is coming in three days! I'm gonna dance and shout and yell pollo frito (fried chicken) from the top of my roof. Apparently people have sex on the roof of my school, I'll have to remember that for the future except not really because me and sex are not going to meet each other for a long while. Now that I've officially mentioned sex... SEX!